Some caregivers of Alzheimer’s/dementia loved ones scoff at others who profess their faith in the midst of their very difficult situations. I’ve described these positive, faithful people before as seeming to walk on clouds all the time.
While I’m not constantly professing my faith, it is ever present in me and my earliest recollections when I was little involve believing that God will take care of me. In the big old house that I grew up in, lightning and thunder were often the subjects of my prayers for help. To this day, if I am feeling scared of a storm, I say that same little girl prayer and the calm settles over me.
There have been times in my life when I let myself drift and fears would jump into my life. Sometimes it took awhile and God would be practically hitting me over the head to get me to turn around but ultimately I would realize and run back to His embrace.
Recently, my daughter was upset and I missed the queue. A drug company is being sued because an epilepsy drug, taken by pregnant women with epilepsy, has caused birth defects. While I now believe she was feeling the sorrow for those women, my reaction was that people no longer accept the responsibility for their decisions.
My reaction may sound strange but again, it all comes back to my faith. Each time my daughter was pregnant, she continued her epilepsy drugs and took additional drugs because her seizures always increased during pregnancy. We were told of the potential issues of those drugs but the concern was to get her through the pregnancy and what would be, would be. She was blessed with two beautiful boys who are now 13 and 10.
My oldest daughter, on the other hand, decided to have a second child and did everything right. In spite of sinus infections and allergies, she followed all the rules so she would have a healthy baby. It wasn’t too be and alone at a regular checkup, she learned there was no longer a heartbeat. She was devastated and for her, there was the question of why. She, and others, did everything right and lost their babies and her sister took all these terrible drugs and had healthy babies.
These are the times when my faith jumps back in. I lost a baby soon after my oldest daughter was born and both of these daughters lost a baby early in their pregnancies. With each loss, I could easily see that God knew we, individually, were not ready for another child at that time in our lives. At the same time, we learned the lesson of cherishing life. It’s interesting to note that a few years later, totally out of the blue, my oldest became pregnant. I fully believe that, although it took her awhile to settle into it, God knew that it was time and we now cannot imagine life without our little Hurricane.
What does this all have to do with my current situation? It was years in the making but I think God had a plan and as I have listened for his voice and followed his plan, I am reaping the rewards.
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