Saturday, May 25, 2013

She's sleeping more now...

It's becoming the norm now for Mom to be sleeping or feeling tired when I visit.  She's happy, just tired.  She's bleeding on a regular basis now but has no pain.  It may seem wrong to let it go on but I'm following Mom's lead.

Years ago she made the decision to not force Daddy to eat.  She felt she needed to trust his instincts, in spite of the Alzheimer's.

It's a difficult decision but I know that bringing in a doctor to try and fix the problem would be upsetting to Mom.  At 97, should I make her go through that?  I think not.  She wouldn't want it.  She's content to enjoy her surroundings and sleep when she wants.

So now, as long as Mom is happy and in no pain, I'm content to sit with her while she sleeps.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Three weeks is too long…

I remember vividly my weekly visits to Mom and Dad’s back when my babies were little.  When my first was born, I was living in an upstairs apartment with just four rooms, including the kitchen.  I took my daughter to Mom and Dad’s weekly to do my laundry.  By the time my second was born, we were living in a townhouse and had a washer and dryer but I still went to Mom and Dad’s once a week.  Daddy was retired by then.

That changed when my second daughter was just four months old and we moved across the country to Montana.  For two years I lived on a weekly letter from Mom and Dad.  I wrote to them and they wrote to me – I still have the letters.  Phone calls were costly and saved for special holidays.
When we moved back, I got a job and saw Mom and Dad daily because they were my wonderful and free babysitters.  I think my girls thought their grandpa hung the moon!  As I’ve mentioned before, they watched as Daddy sunk further and further into Alzheimer’s.

Fast forward a bit and my visits slowed down to maybe once a month while Mom was living with my brother.  I was living 45 miles away, working full time and raising four kids active in school programs so we visited when we could.
Then my life changed again when I started my adventure with Mom in 2010.  Suddenly I was with her 24x7 and although her mind wasn’t what it used to be, I enjoyed my time with her.

Fast forward again – because I’ve told the story of the time here – and we come to the last month.  A month ago I went back to work.  Between work, two long planned weekends away and a robbery at our house, I didn’t see Mom for three weeks.  It was just a few years ago that I was only visiting about once a month but now three weeks was just too long.
I’ve always been considered the “emotional” one in our family.  Into the third week with no visit and dealing with the aftermath of the robbery, I broke down crying because I hadn’t been to see her.  Then when the weekend came and I finally did see her, I had to hold back tears when I was giving her a big hello hug.

The good thing – although I felt badly, Mom didn’t realize I was gone.  When I visited again this weekend, she was very tired because of some physical issues she had this week but she was smiling, talking and happy.  I had to laugh when she was so tired that her eyes closed but she kept talking.
So again, I’m so happy that Tina is there to take care of her!  Mom is happy and content and I may miss her but at least I don’t worry about her.