You can sing all you want!

Many parents learn quickly that children can feel and will react to tension around them.  The same goes for those suffering from Alzheimer’s.

Recently there have been a few situations that have created tension in our home.  Steve’s work has been very busy and the holidays and a few extra family celebrations have added stress here and there.  Luckily, we’ve both been on the same side of the situation so we at least have each other to lean on.  Mom, however, cannot understand what is happening so for her the atmosphere is just charged with tension.

When our stress spills over, we are not as patient as usual.  We might make comment to Mom about things we might normally let slide.  It has happened a few times lately and the reaction was not good!

Just yesterday, my tension was continually rising as the day progressed.  I was trying to get various computer projects finished and my printer started acting up.  Then I was getting messages that there was a problem with my USB port.  Eventually, after turning it off and on multiple times, none of my USB ports were working.  Good thing I used to use keyboard commands because no USB meant no mouse!  As that was happening, my phone was also dying and had to be plugged in and if I needed to make a call I was tied to the wall.  While I was on the phone, of course, Mom decided she was going downstairs by herself – a big NO NO!

In my tense state, I found her halfway down the stairs and turned her around and told her never to do that again because she could fall.  Sullen teenager appeared and the conversation that followed was not pretty as I told her that she had already broken a wrist and ribs in the past and she denied it.  When I told her that indeed she did and I was the one that took her to the doctor to get her “fixed”, she went to the window and began singly loudly and off key (she’s tone deaf) and continued for quite some time.  My parting shot – “You can sing all you want but it won’t change things!  You cannot go down the steps by yourself!” 

Yes, she had done something that in her current situation was dangerous but it was only a reaction to my mounting tension and the resulting lack of attention to her.  Had I been doing my normal routines, she would not have gone down the steps because we would have been busy together.

Will I tell you that I’ve learned my lesson and this will never happen again?  Lord, no!  I have learned my lesson and I will do my best but life is what it is and at times it will bite me in the butt!