Respite is Critical!

I must start this piece by saying that I’m not feeling sorry for myself, nor do I want pity.  Talking about caregiving, however, would not be true to life without talking about this subject.

As each day progresses, I realize that I’m hitting a critical point.  I have not, since October 24, had the opportunity to wake up in the morning without taking care of Mom.  We even took Mom on our vacation so I was just in another place, although a place I love; doing the same thing I do every day.

Prior to October 24, since May when Mom moved in, Steve and I had managed to get away for a weekend, or a long weekend, once almost every month.  My sister Pat came to stay with Mom and I had the opportunity to get away and be me and sleep in if I wanted.  I could read a book other than in bed at night, we could stay up later than normal, we could visit with friends without concern that Mom would want to go home.

Luckily, I have never been one to want to go out a lot.  I was also the mother that took my babies and children everywhere with me.  Consequently being a homebody with Mom and taking her everywhere with me has not been a problem.

But even as a young mother, I would occasionally leave my little ones with Mom and Daddy or my sister Pat (how appropriate!) and have the opportunity to sleep in or have a quiet morning without them.  As the children grew older we kept up that habit because it’s a chance to recharge and remind ourselves of all the wonderful reasons we got married.

So now, other than a few hours here and there when my daughters or my sister or my husband have stayed with Mom, I’m looking at 66 days of getting up each morning and going to bed each night with Mom the first and last thing on my mind.  Honestly, I’m ready for a break.

The good news is that we already have a plan in place – something I can look forward to just a little over a week from now.  Pat will come here to stay for the weekend so that Steve and I can get away.  It will be just two nights and two days but they will be ours to do with as we please.

The other good news?  Whenever I return from a weekend away, I’m always so happy to see Mom!  You see, it’s not about disliking my life or what I’m doing at this point in my life.  It’s just about having a little bit of time to be just me so that when I get back, I can be a better me with Mom.