The Man on the Phone

Delusions are an interesting aspect of dementia.  My mom with Alzheimer's truly believes what she is saying no matter the evidence to the contrary.  We've experienced various delusions since Mom came to live with us. 

One of the things we’ve heard many times is “Where are the dogs?”  We have no animals in our house and my brother did not have a dog during the 24 years that Mom lived with him.  At the moment in time that Mom asks, however, you can have a fight on your hands if you tell her that.  Therefore, my response is always, “They must be outside.”

Fall and winter have brought along with them issues that we didn’t see during the beautiful spring and summer months with Mom.  Falling leaves, colder temperatures, gray days and now snow have brought on some exasperating, yet funny situations.  The most frequent delusions revolve around a non-existent phone and “a man” or “he”.

Our first snowfall set off a wave of concern.  I thought it looked lovely on the roofs of the houses around us and on our deck.  It also put a nice 3+ inches on our travel trailer that sits behind our house. 

Mom thought it was pretty at first but soon became agitated that no one was removing it.  She told me several times that someone needed to go out and clean off the snow from the top of “that” (our camper).  I explained each time that the snow would eventually melt and everything would be fine.  That didn’t do the trick.  She said “A man called on the phone and told me that I had to get up there and clean it off but I can’t do that.”  I agreed that it wasn’t a job for her to do and again told her it would melt and be okay.

Her next move was to tell my husband her concerns and she also told him about the “man”.   Steve also assured her that it would be fine and the snow would melt but at that point she became very agitated and began yelling at him, telling him it had to be taken care of because she told “the man” that she would.  Steve finally told her that the next time the man called to tell him to mind his own business!  That resulted in what I call a “sullen teenager” move.  She stomped off to her bedroom and didn’t come back out for awhile.

On any given day, she may look for “the baby”, “the dogs”, or “them”.  She may say that “he”, “she” or “they” told her something.  I’ve learned to go with the flow to keep the peace.  A look of interest on my face and an “uh huh” seems to do the trick.

Today, we have several interesting comments about the snow that is falling but my favorite for the day – “Did I tell you about the two young but good-sized horses that walked down the street, through the yard and away?”  Steve and I told her that was wonderful!

We live in a subdivision in a small town without horses.  There is a family of deer that roams the woods and creek nearby but they don’t venture to our yard.  What do you think?