One evening as we were sitting watching TV, our normal routine between dinner and bed, Mom asked me what time she should get up in the morning. “Six thirty”, I replied. “What?” she asked. “Six (holding up six fingers) thirty”, I said. Mom’s response, “Well, I just don’t know what to do with that.”
While I was growing up, Mom had us all on a set schedule. At 5:30 am the cow was milked, breakfast at 6:00, Daddy left for work at 6:30 and the kids caught the bus for school. Dinner was served promptly at 6:00 pm and homework was done in the evening – no TV! Things changed a little after Daddy retired but the adjusted times were the same each day and dinner always at 6:00 pm. The regular schedule was a godsend I’m sure as Daddy’s Alzheimer’s progressed.
Having been raised that way, it was easy to slip into a regular schedule as my children grew. Now, with my children grown and raising their own families, I am still following a regular schedule because it provides Mom with a constant routine. Breakfast at 6:30 am, a snack at 9:45, lunch at noon, snack again at 3:00 pm, dinner at 6:00 and Mom’s frozen yogurt at 8:00.
Between the meals and snacks are the various activities that change from day to day. Some Mom likes such as working puzzles and going to the grocery store and others not so much, like bathing.
In spite of the regular schedule, time can still be an interesting topic of conversation because the dementia causes Mom to lose time. Each day she will ask what day it is at least once and throughout the day she will ask the time but she doesn’t actually connect the response to anything in particular.
While on our recent vacation, we learned the impact time can have. We kept Mom busy but on the normal schedule throughout the week and each night she slept well in spite of being away from home – except for one night.
The electricity had gone off sometime during the night. I reset our clock during the night and went back to sleep. Very early in the morning I heard Mom in the living room and she soon yelled, “Is anyone getting up today?” We soon found she was up and down all night because her clock was flashing 12:00!
In spite of the dementia and anything else that may be going on, there is one time of day that Mom NEVER forgets. Beginning at 7:50 pm, sometimes as early as 7:00 pm, she begins reading the digital clock to me. “7 2 3”, she might say. She also might say, “Isn’t it time to get…” and then, because the words don’t come, she points to her mouth and wiggles her tongue. For Mom, every evening no matter what, the TIME has come for her FROZEN YOGURT!
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