A lot has happened in the last week. Although the infection I developed seems under control now, I can’t say the same for my asthma at this point but I am making progress.
In spite of the exhaustion and the lack of a voice a good portion of the time, I managed to research area facilities looking for a good placement for Mom. I reviewed various types of facilities and their quality, health and nursing statistics and then, having narrowed down the list to the ones I wanted to contact, I called them. I explained my situation, discussed Mom’s needs in comparison to their programs and costs, and made appointments at three facilities.
The difficulty of the situation is Mom’s health. She is, at 95, completely healthy and still takes no medications. While she gets out of a chair very slowly and gingerly, once she has her feet under her, she can take off quite quickly wherever she wants to go as long as the ground she is walking on is even and sturdy. My brother used to tell of her literally flying from one end of his long ranch house to the other when he would get home. Her room was on one end of the house and the garage on the other but she could beat him to the door!
While Mom is physically healthy, her brain is totally unreliable. I don’t know from one moment to the next where her brain might be.
All of this had to be taken into consideration when choosing a place for her to live. She doesn’t need a “nursing home” because she is not sick in the least and only needs assistance, not nursing care. She needs a place that will allow her to be as active as possible and as involved as possible without her feeling restricted or “sterilized”.
Yesterday we – my husband, my sister, my niece and I – went to the first appointment. It was a small place specifically catering to Alzheimer’s/dementia. It wasn’t a hospital/nursing home setting. It was like a home! Each resident has a little studio apartment opening into the hallway that is one big square. You can’t get lost because no matter which way you go, you get there! We found almost all of the residents were together in the living room area playing a game and just generally being together. The living room was right at the front door so they could watch everything that was happening – which, of course, is what they like to do best. There was a wonderful secured courtyard that was open for them to go outside whenever they wanted. We were sold!
In fairness, we kept the other two appointments. Just walking in the door of each facility answered our question, however. The hospital-like settings with blaring PA systems and corridors to get lost in were not what we wanted for Mom.
We’ve made all the arrangements and we will move her in on Monday. We won’t tell her until she gets there because we don’t want to cause anxiety but after she adjusts, we know that she’ll be in a happy place!
And me? I can be a daughter again…J
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