We made it through winter but it’s not quite warm weather yet and with record rainfall in April, we’ve been stuck inside most of the month. We managed a few walks and time on the swing on warm days when it hasn’t been raining. The days can still be chilly but unfortunately Mom thinks it’s warm if the sun is out so I’ve learned to open the back door and let her feel the chill or the wind rather than argue with her.
Mom also wants to “go” even though trips out have become even more difficult. I take her to the bank because she can stay in the car and I’ve taken her to a store a couple times when I just needed something quick. It’s amazing the difference time makes, however, because last summer we did all the shopping together. The trips last summer often included a need for her to use a restroom at least once but we typically made it through that without too many problems and we both enjoyed the outings.
A year later, here’s the typical scenario: I have her go to the bathroom before we leave the house (10-15 minutes). I put her in the backseat of the car because one day she decided to grab the steering wheel and “help” me drive. She doesn’t like sitting back there. We drive to a store five minutes away and as soon as we walk in the door she says she has to go to the bathroom. If they have a bathroom in the store, taking her can add 15 minutes to a half hour to our trip because other bathrooms are always more confusing. I won’t even go into her response to the hand dryers when they don’t have paper towels!
Although the trips take longer with Mom, time is not the issue. The real problem is her response to being somewhere other than home. She wants to “go” but once we get somewhere, whether to a store or someone’s home, she becomes impatient to go home. The bathroom always becomes an issue – yesterday she used the bathroom at our daughter’s house during a short visit, and then used it four times in just an hour and a half at my in-law’s home. During both visits she also was giving me both verbal and non-verbal hints that she was ready to “go”. Her behavior solidified my decision to keep her home unless we’re just going for a ride.
Today it’s raining again and I am the “mean lady who works here”. She told my husband no one knows how mean I am to her when no one is looking and she hopes “family” will come get her soon. He had to walk away before he got angry with her but I just laughed. I know the rain frustrates her and she’s definitely grumpy mom today but we’ll make it through whether she’s happy or not. At this stage of the game, my husband and I both know that we can’t make her happy so we have to settle for keeping her safe.
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