In January we started using the services of Visiting Angels. Every other Saturday a woman named Mary comes in and stays with Mom for four hours while Steve and I get some time to ourselves or to be with friends. Though short, those four hours away are wonderful!
The first visits went so well that we decided to take a long weekend and fly to Florida to visit Steve’s brother and our sister-in-law. As usual, my sister took care of the weekend and nights but this time she was able to go to work because Mary stayed with Mom during the day.
We left on a Wednesday afternoon so Thursday morning, Mary had to handle Mom’s bath for the first time. She knew my process so started by washing Mom’s hair. When she did it, she took off her rings and set them aside. She proceeded with the bath and all went well. At some point during the day, Mary realized that her rings were missing. When she asked Mom about them, Mom’s response was, “They belong to the family so I put them away.”
Mary let my sister know what happened and Pat spent time searching high and low for the rings but could not find them. Their fear was that they had gone down the disposal which Mary had already run that day before missing the rings. Mary assured Pat not to worry about it.
Knowing Mom’s hoarding tendencies, we knew the rings had to be somewhere. She doesn’t throw anything away. Pat continued to look and we gave her some ideas but they just didn’t surface.
We returned from our trip on Monday afternoon and although I didn’t spend time worrying about them on vacation, they were fresh on my mind when we arrived home. I looked a little on Monday but when Mom fell sound asleep in her chair on Tuesday morning, I did some heavy searching in her room. I noticed her wallet was lying in one of her drawers rather than being in a purse. It was also semi-covered by two pictures. Hmmm, seemed fishy. Sure enough, I picked it up and it jingled – but Mom has no money. So what was jingling? The rings, of course! They were in the coin purse section, along with a sweater clip bearing Mom’s initials.
So, here’s another little lesson about Alzheimer’s/dementia. People with dementia steal! They don’t steal in a Commandment sort of way – it’s more like a toddler just learning about the word “mine”. Suddenly, everything is “mine”. It’s the same for those with dementia.
Today I caught Mom sneaking toward her room with two pretzels. I asked her about them and she told me she was going to eat one and… I explained that we don’t take food to our rooms, we only take what we want to eat at the moment and that’s why they are in containers. I was watching because when I went through her drawers, I found chips and crackers that weren’t there when we left on vacation. J
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