I’ve always loved the time I have spent with my grandchildren. When my now 12 year old grandson Dillon was in elementary school and his mom, Jessie, worked, he would come to my house each morning and I would give him breakfast and take him to school on my way to work. Oh, how I loved those mornings with him!
The situation was a little different with my 9 year old grandson Kenny. At that time, Jessie was a stay at home mom and although they live right next door to the school, my grandson was not happy about going to school when his mommy was right there! There was no breakfast involved but before work each day I would drive the few blocks to Jessie’s house and walk Kenny to school. I loved every minute!
The boys have spent many nights at Grandma’s house but not nearly as many as our 9 year old granddaughter Sophia and her 2 year old brother Anthony. They became accustomed to sleeping at our house as infants and haven’t done well elsewhere. Consequently, it’s easier for everyone concerned if they stay here.
Last night was one of those nights. They arrived and settled in to play and watch TV. It was so cute when Anthony dumped all the Hot Wheel cars and sat there saying, “Peepaw, c’mere!” When bedtime came, he snuggled in to the rocking chair with me for two songs and then lay down to sleep without a peep. Sophia sat with me in my chair and we watched some of her shows before she was off to bed.
While it was a wonderful evening for me and Steve, it was frustrating for Mom. Every time Anthony would get out a toy, Mom would want to put it away. She loves to watch them but at the same time, gets agitated by their presence. For awhile she went to her room and closed her door!
This morning was no better because the normal routine was tossed in the air again. Although I was awake, Mom was first up and dressed and I caught her trying to open the gate. (Supplies are purchased for the half door and installation will be complete in the next day or two.) Sophia came up next and I made breakfast for the three of us and then Steve and Anthony followed. Anthony needed some snuggle time with Grandma when he first awoke – Sophia even joined us for a bit – and then the playing began!
Although part of the issue is the change of routine, another aspect of dementia is at play here. Mom is at the stage where she is suspicious and delusional so she thinks the children are “getting into things” even when they are not. Her distrust of them and inability to handle the mess is frustrating for me but I have no desire to give up my time with my grandchildren.
We just have to make these times work!
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