It’s best to bounce when you fall…

It’s not unusual to hear from family members that their loved one fell at the nursing home.  I’ve heard it many times and unfortunately, blame is always directed at the home and the staff.  I’m here to give you a different view of the situation.

I have a daughter who has had epilepsy all her life and for about 17 years, she has had not only absence, or petit mal seizures, but also tonic clonic, or grand mal seizures.  She doesn’t have a warning so she is unable to get in a safe spot or position before it happens.  I cannot tell you the number of times that I have been in the same room and have watched as she fell, unable to move fast enough to catch her.  She has suffered far too many bumps, bruises, black eyes and more from those falls.  I felt so badly each time, that I was unable to respond in time to cushion her fall.  That said, I thank God for watching over her because she’s had her share of seizures right at the top of the steps!

While Mom was living with me, I also watched as she stepped back from the window, lost her balance and fell.  I was in the next room and could not get to her quickly enough to catch her.  Luckily, there was a soft footstool and although it didn’t cause the fall, it was close enough that she sat on it rather than falling all the way to the floor.  It stopped the fall but the momentum sat her back into a cast iron quilt stand covered with quilts.  She hit that hard enough to bend the cast iron! 

There was surprise on Mom’s face as she fell but once the movement stopped, she looked up at me with a sheepish grin and then laughed!  I helped her up and kept an eye on her but no bruises showed up, nor did she complain of pain.  Whew!

Last weekend I received a call from a nurse at Mom’s home.  Mom had been in her room looking out the window – by now you know this is her favorite pastime – and as she backed up from the window, she forgot the bed was there and fell.  Tina walked in to check on her and there was Mom, sitting on the floor with her back against her bed and she looked at Tina with a grin and said, “Oh good, honey!  Can you help me up?  I’m stuck!”

The normal procedure for a fall is to keep the resident still until a thorough check is completed.  The nurse was called for Mom and the check found no broken bones or even bruises.  After getting Mom up, her only complaint was that her legs hurt a little – but that is a typical complaint on a daily basis.

Not all falls have happy endings or make for comical stories.  I’ve seen many over the years and a few at Mom’s home.  The falls typically happen when the resident decides to do something that they have forgotten they can no longer do.  They also typically happen when an aide is not standing right next to them.

My point here is that even when I was the 24x7 sole caregiver of my daughter and later, my mom, I was not able to prevent falls.  Why would I hold the caregivers at Mom’s home to a higher standard than I was able to achieve?