I had full intentions of writing about poop today based on a funny incident yesterday. After my visit with Mom this morning, I decided to save it for another day.
I had an excellent visit with Mom. We walked and then sat and played a lively game of dominoes with two other residents, the Life Enrichment Assistant and one of the aides. It was comical! Mom was snoozing off and on and playing out of turn while June, one of the other residents, bantered back and forth with us all. So much fun and so much laughing!
I was doing my best to brighten the day for the workers around me. One of the aides commented that she was “so upset” but that my laughter made her feel better. It seemed each person had something happening personally and needing some cheering. The feelings came into better focus when I realized that one of the residents, a sweet little lady everyone called Miss Lu, had passed over the weekend.
I knew that Lu’s time was coming. I interact with all of the residents and had watched the gradual decline as she stopped eating and talking. The end came quickly. She was walking with a walker just a couple weeks ago, then she was in a wheelchair and although she didn’t speak, she would look at me when I spoke to her. I wasn’t surprised to see hospice involved because she was no longer eating, and then last week, she didn’t see me at all.
Lu’s daughter arrived to bring all the wonderful caregivers some home-baked cookies in thanks for the loving care her mom received. The truth about the frustration over things happening in their personal lives came out. They were all dealing with inconvenient things in their personal lives but topped with the loss of their sweet little Miss Lu, it was no longer frustration but terrible grief. No, Miss Lu was not their mother, or any relation for that matter, but she was loved by them all.
I will not try to tell you that all of the folks that work in nursing homes or assisted living facilities are loving, caring people. For some it is just a job and it is obvious when watching them work with the residents in their care.
I believe that the majority of people who work long term in those facilities have been given the ability to truly care for the people they are helping – even when the residents are cranky and difficult. With that caring comes pain because ultimately, their charges are marching toward death. All the caregivers can do is try to make the residents’ lives as happy and comfortable as possible until the end – when the resident finds true happiness and peace in death while their caregivers deal with yet another loss.
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