Some people probably wonder what it’s like to be a caregiver for someone with dementia. It’s certainly not a vocation for everyone especially as the loved one declines and more care is needed. Initially the caregiver needs to handle the mental side of the situation but over time, more and more physical care becomes necessary. At this point, I seem to be one of those people that can handle it – as long as I get some respite on a regular basis!
My day begins at 5:42 am when the alarm goes off for the first time – yes, I admit it, I hit the snooze twice before actually getting up at 6:00 am. My husband quietly heads downstairs to take his shower and I stay in our room to do my exercises, hoping that Mom will stay asleep until at least 6:30 am. By 6:30 I open the hallway gate and head out to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the three of us. Mom usually gets up by that time and begins getting dressed and ready for breakfast. At the same time, my husband has finished his shower and we all sit down to eat breakfast together.
By 7:00 am or so, after finishing my breakfast, it’s my turn to shower. My husband gets things ready for his workday while keeping an eye on Mom as she finishes her breakfast, makes her bed and decides which chair she would like to sit in for awhile. J
The morning, in Mom’s case, is devoted to snoozing. I squeeze in the changing of the Depends and taking care of her feet, or a bath if it is Thursday, and I throw in a snack midmorning. She loves her banana! Meanwhile, while Mom is snoozing, I alternate between cleaning, working on the computer, doing laundry, etc., depending on what needs to be done that day. Since Mom is not able to carry on a conversation I generally have the TV on while I work and she sometimes sits and watches. If she does decide to talk, I always have that pause button!
Lunch is at noon and the afternoon is spent working jigsaw puzzles. At this point in time, it seems to be the only thing that Mom likes to do on a regular basis.
By 4:00 pm, the countdown begins! She will check the clock and begin asking about dinner and when the time comes to make it, she stands there and watches. At 6:00 pm we sit down, say a prayer and eat our meal. Although she doesn’t say it with us, each night Mom thanks us for saying the prayer.
After cleaning up from dinner, Mom and I sit down and watch TV and she begins the countdown to her 8:00 pm bowl of frozen yogurt. At 9:00 pm, she’s off to bed and we head that way too, shortly after 10:00.
I’m sure it sounds like an easy day and for me, it is. I can listen to the same comments over and over and provide the same answers over and over. I keep an eye out as she wanders around the house just to be sure she is safe (like when she just decided to touch a pan on the stove to see if it’s hot). It’s easy but by the time I go to bed, I am truly tired.
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